Everyone thought that they knew me so well, opinions change, and I’m not a little girl anymore

What would you recollect if you could see me now? I dont look perfect, and my stead arnt re wholey clean eithermore, Im not very clean. Nevertheless Ive made sure that my lucky pendant has stayed intact, I dont even think that you remember buying it for me. It was the wizard thing in the entire shopping mall that I wanted, on that boiling hot summers day. I think that it must have been the beginning(a) and the last thing that youve bought me that Ive uniformd. You bought it even though you detested it.Im stroking the metal it smellings cold against my skin, ice cold. I havent felt warm for days. As I sit here cold and alone, I realise just how much(prenominal) I should be enjoying this. Its all Ive ever wanted-to have a choice, to do things by myself.Well here I am ready to consider a move. Im hungry now all I can facial expression is the deliciously tempting aroma of chips from the shop, on the corner. I need food. If Id interchange my necklace earlier I would have h ad money. Who am I trying to incline? It is my necklace, my own and we will never part. Scuffing my new clean white dirty shoes I wander aimlessly down the r let one. I dont wish about of the looks that Im getting theyre disapproving, condescending and nastyOooh look at her, doesnt she look roughIf I had it my way, Id be in a warm, soft and luxurious bed. But instead, Im here, pace the streets, solemn and silent.I cant even begin to imagine, where Im heading next. Grasping the kitchen range firmly in my left hand I gently obliterate it. The sweet smell of gold is revolting. As I clutch my scholastic Im slowly beginning to realise how far away that I am. Im walk along a side course now, just approaching a turning. Do I hold back it?Where do I go? Which road shall I take? It has to be one of them. I need guidance, no, no I dont, I make my own decisions, and I can take control. One of these roads seems familiar, a street full of detached houses all lawns exactly the same not a strand of grass out of place, not a tree that dares whisper in the wind. Its precise, just like you. The indorse is a mystery, just like me.I still havent had any food Im beginning to feel ravenous. I have fifty five pence. I didnt think of bringing any money. Mind you I didnt sincerely think that I would leave. I dont remember much about earlier, the enormous row. I just remember two words dirty slut. He was raging at me again, like it was strange to go out and party, a deadly sin to have fun. You spotted my pendant and asked why I was wearing such a grotty thing, Its not like I expect you to understand, so dont worry, I dont blame you.Im at the end of my road now, adjoining to my road is a main road, Im taking it, strutting down the aggregate like I own it. Ive been doing that recently, holding my head up, Im proud.Today isnt tomorrow and today certainly isnt yesterday, while I lay here in my cardboard box, that I found late last night, I theorise this. Chips used to taste nice, from what I can remember, just now not these ones. These are soggy and cold I was lying next to them this morning when I woke up. They are in a newspaper thats sopping wet, from the heavy violent stream that also happened late last night. Its food though something that Ive desired for what seems like an eternity.My pendant is clasped tightly in my hand, Im staring at it intensely, its been ten days so far, and why did I leave? Its getting colder day by day. Im trying to find somewhere to stay, somewhere that I can feel warm and secure, to revitalise my flickering spirit.The rusting gold is more obvious these days. As it gets older its age becomes more noticeable, more so than before. Its in my open palm now stretched out, like its about to sprout fly and fly away.Lately Ive been different, dad why do you blame my friends? I suppose Im just your little angel that will never get around her wings. Remember that night I do, the slut night. I wear make up short skirts and high heels, just like most people my age. Dont you think about what I could have said to you? How arrogant you are or how oppressive that you can be. Why do you think that I didnt? I didnt say anything because I didnt want to hurt your feelings, like you did mine. The Mona Lisa, your favourite word picture while you sit there at your computer father, chew on this, shes smiling, is she happy? I think that I should be sitting in that portrait, dont you?The ripple of the pinky blue dusk that has set over the tenderness of London on an October night becomes more prominent as I stand staring over the Queen Elizabeth II Bridge. I clutch the railings I laugh, a high pitched screech, Im so cold, so famished, but Ive never felt so alive. Cradling my pendant like a shamed child, I say my last goodbye. Im attaching it to the fourth bar on the second row.I look up to the beautiful night skyI lovemaking you mum,I love you dad,I love you,I love you,I love you,So much,Im going home.